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I’ll Take a Tamiflu Cocktail with a Side of Underwear Strapped to My Face, Please…

It's the real deal, folks

I’ve been less than active this week. It began on Tuesday night with a seemingly-innocent poor night of sleep. I attributed it to my rock-hard Korean mattress and went to work. By the end of the day, I was beginning to feel chilled and achey, and so I went home and prepared myself some soup and a michilada(a secret Chilean cold remedy involving lager, lemon, and salt).

But I couldn’t sleep for more than a few hours at a time Wednesday and Thursday, and by Friday the illness had progressed into full-blown “I Think I Might Be Dying” zone. A long bus ride to work in a sick mask (which incidentally looks a bit like a piece of cotton underwear strapped to my face), an hour preparing plans for my substitute, and a prolonged visit to the ENT specialist downstairs later I had the results.

“See these two lines?” he said. I nodded, feeling a bit like puking from the effort of sitting up in the examination chair.

“That means you have a complex infection. Both Influenza A and Influenza B.”

He prescribed a battery of medications: Tamiflu, broad-spectrum antibiotics to prevent pneumonia and other secondary infections, fever-reducers, a transdermal cough suppressant patch, two unidentifiable pills, and a week of bed rest. That last one will have to be curtailed, since taking even one sick day is a bit of a personal defeat in Korea.

The fever broke Friday night, and since then I’ve basically alternated sleep and reruns of every Family Guy ever made on HuluPlus. I had to venture out for food, and while the walk across my apartment to to bathroom doesn’t send me over the edge into a coughing fit anymore, the four flights of stairs to ground level certainly do.

I go back to the doctor tomorrow and will stop by work to see whether they need me to teach. If they do, I’ll be teaching sitting down. I haven’t felt this weak since I had mononucleosis five years ago. Right now I’m letting my hair air dry because holding the blow dryer is too hard.

I meant to make a Korean Fashion post last week, but obviously two strains of flu got in the way. But soft, it’s not completely unsalvageable, since now you get to marvel at the glory of my sick mask. 

Oh yeah. As sexy as the flu gets.

3 comments on “I’ll Take a Tamiflu Cocktail with a Side of Underwear Strapped to My Face, Please…

  1. This post was worth it for the title alone. Hope you feel better soon. Nothing like being sick on the road.

  2. Q: does that mean your chin is as soft as a baby’s behind? (sory, had to ask!). Hope you get better soon!

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