My Vacation, According to My Students

Below is a collection of stories from my students during my week-long vacation in Colorado. I’m going to let the grammar and spelling stew in their own elementary student-ness. Most of them are pretty epic, but a couple are epic-ly boring. My commentary is in italics, and there are amazing hand-drawn pictures!

They were written in response to the following prompt:

WHERE IS COLEEN TEACHER, AND WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Coleen went to Chille, to teach English. She is a volunteer. However, Coleen was little bit worried, because there were a lot of earthquakes in Chille…Few days later, the earthquake really happened. It was a 9.9 earthquake. It was the worst natural disaster in history, because the government needed 100 trillion $ to repair. Back to Coleen: I want to go back to korea! She went back safely. She was greatful to live.

Coleen teacher is in time machine. so teacher visit future Avalon. And she explosion the Avalon and many academy. So she goes to jail. So she can’t come back Avalone

Coleen go to the space. She go at Monday. She so hard(???), but she like move in space. She is very hungry. So, she eat lunch. But it is so bad time, because she don’t be careful and food flying inside. It is so sad! AND, She meet monseat. She is scary. But she fating!(???) AND she win.

one day coleen have a special clock. and she is going to alion and coleen is go to scary. and coleen is go very very very quiet and eat the city one the Engleland all of the world and 3 mites (???) age coleen is go to the gost monster. and coleen go to eat space present coleen is bad monster.

Today coleen go vote the principal. There is two. Obama and Rommey. Coleen vote Aboma. AND OBAMA WIN

The COLEEN Teacher is in the space. She are kicking with big rock. Coleen try. The Coleen Teacher is very strong, She destroy the big rock. The moon is be 4. But they be aliens. Coleen fighting aliens, too. Coleen win! The end.

coleen is in her home. She turn on the computer but computer have virus. So, coleen is very angry. So she punched the computer so the computer have a broken. so coleen’s house have fire. and all coleen’s family were died. (Messed, up, little eight-year-old girl child. Messed. Up.)

I guess she is in the airport, and she is going to China. When she arrives to China, she meets her friends in China. However, she lost and she calls her friends. However, her cell phone’s battery is none. Fortunately, she ask to someone and she can meet her friend.

Coleen went to Colorado on her vacation (the only child to correctly remember where I actually went!). And she was taking a rest in her house. Then, there was vocanic eruption in there. Many people started to die. Then, she stopped fire by using Heli. She poured a lot of ice and water. But she failed. So, many people died.

Coleen went to trash can. She met lee. They are talking about Timmy and Harry. Lee said, “Timmy has Japan pencil! Oh my god! Coleen said, “Harry is very crazy! I will kill him!” Lee said, “No, I will destroy Harry! Do not kill him! Then Lee kill Coleen. -The End-

Coleen teacher went to America. She is traveling in the America. I think she is in the teacher’s room. She is working with her computer. Maybe. She went to the dentist. Now she is advicing with the dentist. (YAWN)

She is in the League of Legend. She is champion. She is cash item. (???) She is gangi. She is god because she is strange and strong. She is tall so she kick people And that’s her skill. I play league of legend and I buy Coleen. She is very strong champion.

She is in the hell yes to day at night the deathmen take it. The USA government take it and kill. I don’t know. (Holy shit…)

It’s good to see that the majority of my students believe that I kick the ass of space monsters and wildfires alike, but some of the stories are so boring they could be real. I wish they could be this creative all the time.