Spring 2013: Fashion Loses Its Mind

I am currently in a very fashionable city, where people from around the world dress to impress while on vacation or while working in high powered jobs. A lot of people have the money for a substantial clothing budget, and even those who don’t have vintage and thrift fashion available to them. I’ve been under a rock for the last two months, in India. The fashion there could not really be called cutting edge, even though I plan to wear some of the clothing I obtained there as avant garde pieces back home.

Yet THIS is what I see in all the storefronts. Terribly cheap, terrifying printed, horribly cut clothing that will look good on exactly no one. No, not even you Beyonce. This outfit is a prime example of what I like to call “fashion terrorism.” It’s so bad that people may be in danger just by looking upon its clashing prints and shitty fabric.

But far worse than fabric or cut is that I’ve read that some call these mostrosities throwbacks to the 1990s. The bare midriff is back! And it’s 2013, and the world is on average 20 pounds heavier than then. Bare, chunky midriffs. Noooooooooooo!

I have already spent my clothing allowance for the year and will need to sell a lot of my wardrobe in preparation to move abroad (again). All I hope is that by this time next year the hideous 2013 fashion will have blown over.

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